Tuesday, June 29, 2010

It Is Pure Bliss When

I pop in one of my Sublime CD’s and the kids yell Yay!! We get to listen to mommies music.

I LOVE my kids.

My kids are AWESOME!!


Monday, June 28, 2010

Music Monday ~

In light of what’s been going on recently, I thought I’d throw this song out there.

You know, as one last Fuck You.

Cause I’m like that.

We Are Family lyrics

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing

Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose


Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(WE!) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
This is our family Jewel


Sunday, June 27, 2010

I Was On Vacation For Two

DSC_0185 weeks.

Oh my god we had so much F.U.N.!!!!

Our vacation was in Virginia, which is pictured to the right.

Then we drove to West Virginia, Ocean City Maryland, we saw my husband’s dad, we visited his Aunt. Our oldest niece on his side graduated.

Our 1st baby is through high school!!! Amazing.

And she is amazing. She’s wonderful. I can’t wait for her sissy to graduate in 3 years. She’s amazing too.

I had a shit ton of awesome motherfucking stories to tell you.

Then we got home.

The shit hit the fan.

It’s some stuff I don’t really want to get into, but it’s pretty fucking bad.

Nothing with my immediate family, so don’t worry. Everything is okay there.

Hopefully I can come out of this slump and get those blog posts cranked out.

I miss all you bloggy friends!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

To The Flight Attendant Who Recoiled

in absolute horror when I walked near her with the bag full of barf:

  1. Fuck you.
  2. I wasn’t going to touch your ugly uniform with the motherfucking barf.
  3. I would have liked to after you acted like such a bitch.
  4. You are totally, undeniably UNprofessional.
  5. You suck.
  6. Get over it. I’m sure this isn’t the 1st nor last bag of barf you will ever see.
  7. I had to hold that shit for 25 minutes before I could get to the bathroom with it.
  8. Thanks for your help.
  9. Not really.
  10. Fuck you.

P.S. Not even my barf. Oh, the things we do for our kids.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Something Eerie Yet Beautiful

happened this afternoon.

I’m not even going to say fuck in this post.

We went to the graveyard to see where my husband’s grandpa and grandma are buried.

We have never ever been there before. My children and I have never even been in this state.

M.O.M. and Auntie were having a rough time and couldn’t locate the spot they are buried in. They were actually starting to walk the wrong way.

My 5 year old daughter took off in the other direction and went about 20 or 30 feet? I’m not sure. My depth perception sucks…

She went to a grave and yelled Here they are!

Sure as shit.

That’s where they were buried.

Was there someone guiding my daughter to that spot?

I’d like to think so.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Me: Come Here So I Can

wipe the ketchup off your face.

Him: Why?

Me: I’m not going to let you guys get on the plain looking like trailer trash.

Him: You did last time.

Okay. Maybe I did. I can be guilty of not carrying something around to wipe my kids’ faces off after they smear about 3/10’s of their meal all over their face.

I HATE to carry a purse. I really, really fucking hate to carry a purse.


Because I am one of the most absent minded people you will ever meet. I lose shit all the time. I forget I have things.

I will set that shit down and forget I ever had it.

One year I bought a jacket. It was a nice jacket too. I wore it to school one blustery winter day. I hung it on the back of my chair during class.

A few days later I was looking for the jacket because it was snowing or some shit.

I could NOT find that jacket anywhere.

Yep. I left that fucker on the back of my chair and didn’t notice for days that it was gone.

What does this have to do with messy faces and my kids looking like trailer trash?

I have no fucking clue.

I didn’t sleep last night and I haven’t pooped in over 2 days.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Yes. Sharpie Permanent Marker Does

come out of your carpet.

We had my son using Goo Gone and Goof Off. While these are both equally great products, neither of them does a fucking thing for taking Sharpie markers out of carpet.

But we had to make that little shit pay for drawing all over his carpet. We made him try to clean it for a while.

What did take the marker out of my carpet?

A Little Bissell Green Machine, plain old H2O and some good ol’ elbow grease.


My husband was able to get ALL of that fucking black marker out of my carpet.

He’s good for something.


P.S. I’m not exactly sure what my son meant when he said he wouldn’t treat his kids the way we treat him. We do not beat him. He very RARELY gets a spanking (you know, except for when he’s doing shit like I mentioned in the last post. And yes. He’s done every single one of them and more). He is a sensitive soul.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Son Told Me That When

he is older and has kids he will never treat them like I treat him.

To which I replied:

If you didn’t:

start the carpet on fire, cut your sister’s hair, draw on my walls, carve into my coffee table, cut open my brand new loveseat, jump off the back of my couch so many times it breaks, pee on my floors, draw hopscotch on my carpet with a black sharpie, shit down my floor heat vent and then try to blame it on the dog, or spray paint my T.V

then I wouldn’t treat you like I do either.


And yes, this is my picture. I’ve heard it was being forwarded in one of those e-mail about how “bad” boys are. But. Yep. It’s MY bad boy.

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