Thursday, October 4, 2012

Make A Wish

I’ve had a lot of time to think about wishes, lately.

I have many of them.

I wish I could be thinner, more healthy.

I wish I was pain free.

I wish we had more extra money. Who wouldn’t love to be able to buy whatever their little hear desires, or to take vacations to the beach, whenever they want? Maybe the beach thing is just me.

I wish I could run faster. I do okay. I’ve improved a lot. I would still love to be able to get out there and run 10 miles in just over an hour rather than it taking 2 hours.

Oh, I could go on and on. I could add so many superficial wishes to this list.

I could even add a few, less superficial things.

I wish I could be closer to all of my family. It would be wonderful to be loved by all of them.

I wish I could see my grandma or grandpa just one more day. To hear the stories grandpa would tell. To eat one last bowl of ice cream with him, maybe two. I would love to give my grandma one last hug. One last kiss. To tell her how much she meant to me. To tell her I am who I am today because she truly loved me.

I could put more here, too. I’ll stop now. I’m in tears. Those memories of my grandma and grandpa always do it for me.

But, if I could have just one wish…. What would I chose? I’ll tell you what I would chose, hands down. No questions asked.

I’d wish that my son, Dylan, could see through all the bullshit that goes on and see right down to his true self worth.

I’d wish that he would quit lying, stealing, and sneaking around. Why he does these things is completely beyond me.

I’d wish that he would just do his stupid school work, bring home work home. He’s smart. He’s one of those gifted people who can just be good at school, without even trying. Unfortunately, he doesn’t try at all.

I’d wish he could complete something his heart desires, so he would be able to see that he is talented, and amazing, and totally worth it.

When he ran 1.5 out of the 2 miles for his time trial, but then quit before he could get the jersey and run for his school in the meet. My heart folded in on itself. I cried inside for him. He wanted so badly to run for his school.

I wanted so badly for him to shine.


Dylan all dressed up in Las Vegas.


Here is Dylan on his 1st day of 8th grade.


Dylan, Michael, and me after his 1st 5K.

dylan 5k first

This post is for Day 3 of BlogFEST 2012 hosted by Slyvie at Tree Girly. Take a peek, come join us. It’s fun!

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Journey of Life said...

Sounds like you have been through a lot. May all of your wishes come true! Take care.

Lin said...

Isn't it hard that we can't do for our kids and make it all better or easier for them? But we can't and there are reasons why we shouldn't. Either way, our hearts still ache for them. Heck, my kid is 20 and I can't make things better for him either. Sigh.

Fuck. Life is tough. I hope your son figures this out soon enough and gets on track.

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