100ish Things About Me

If you care. And I may have repeated myself. I’m not about to proof read, so proceed at your own caution.

1. I hate it when my ice cubes stick together in my glass.
2. I only use the tops of my first three toes on the accelerator.
3. Don’t worry, I use my whole foot for the brake.
4. I LOVE to sing.
5. Unfortunately, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.
6. Even if you helped me carry it.
7. I would totally do Sandra Bullock.
8. Rob Thomas said Fuck.
9. To me.
10. I am going to school to be a Registered Nurse.
11. Don’t worry, I won’t say fuck to all of my patients.
12. Just the ones that piss me off.
13. I love the beach.
14. The real beach, not a lake.
15. But I live next to a mountain.
16. I love gyros.
17. I could eat them every day.
18. And that is pronounced like “Euro” not like gyro(scope).
19. It really bothers me when people don’t pronounce gyro correctly.
20. I love math.
21. Especially algebra.
22. I love ice cream even more than gyros.
23. If I could live off of ice cream for the rest of my life…I would.
24. I love to tell people to Shut Up.
25. I get pissed off if people tell me to Shut Up.
26. I am a reality TV junkie.
27. Seriously. I’m totally hooked on the shit.
28. I love to read.
29. Especially in the bath room.
30. I love the word Fuck.
31. Almost as much as I LOVE my new camera.
32. I hate to use the phone.
33. But people insist on calling me anyway.
34. I love dogs.
35. I have 3 of them.
36. Two are yellow Labrador Retrievers.
37. One is a black Lab mix.
38. I am a night owl.
39. It’s very hard for me to fall asleep at night.
40. But I could sleep all day if people would let me.
41. My favorite sports team in the word is the Packers
42. Because I grew up in Weescansin.
43. Yes, I’m a Cheese Head.
44. And I really LOVE cheese.
45. Almost any cheese.
46. Except Blue cheese.
47. I don’t like that cheese for sure.
48. I talk like a Yankee
49. Even though I’ve lived in Colorado for the last 12 years.
50. People still make fun of me for that.
51. Still.
52. I’m 28 for the 5th year in a row.
53. That means I’m 32 for those of you who are mathematically challenged.
54. I think farts are funny.
55. I play the violin.
56. Well, I would if I had one.
57. I love bowling.
58. I’ve done it since 4th grade.
59. Did I mention Rob Thomas said Fuck?
60. To me?
61. I thought it would be easy to think of 100 things.
62. It’s not.
63. Even though I’ve been working on this shit for DAYYYS…
64. I hate cats.
65. I try to like them.
66. But I just can’t.
67. Plus I’m allergic to the little fuckers.
68. I would love to run a marathon.
69. It looks more and more unlikely that I will accomplish that goal.
70. I have 3 kids.
71. I do not like skinny carrots.
72. Sadly, that is not a euphemism.
73. My mom says I’m the meanest person she knows.
74. I drive a Corolla.
75. My favorite band is Matchbox Twenty.
76. And Sublime.
77. Do they even call them bands anymore?
78. I had Lasik done about 5 months ago.
79. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
80. I had one farsighted eye.
81. And one nearsighted.
82. Yes, I am completely fucked up.
83. I can’t help it.
84. I love to walk.
85. I love to sing in the car.
86. Loud.
87. I’m sure you would laugh at me if you saw me.
88. Ask my kids….
89. I love to sleep.
90. I love to wear tank tops.
91. I wouldn’t wear shoes.
92. But society makes me.
93. I pee in the shower.
94. Julie says this is okay.
95. This post took me over a month to write.
96. It’s hard to think of shit you might be interested in reading about me.
97. I’m sure you’re not interested in 99.9% of what I wrote.
98. I love my readers.
99. You make me laugh.
100. It’s exactly what I need.

Music Monday ~Waiting For My Ruca~ Sublime

Guess who’s going to the Sublime concert tonight….

That’s right…

MEEEEEE!!!!!

I am so excited. This is an opportunity I thought I’d never have.

I’m sad that they have a new lead singer, but I guess that was unevitable.

From what I see on YouTube, Rome does an awesome job being the lead. He has some pretty motherfucking HUGE shoes to fill.

This is one of my most FAVORITE songs they sing.

My favorite part is when he sings, “Ramona, please step back..BOP! BOP!”

I’m weird. I know. I can’t help it. It’s why you love me.

I’m pretty fucking tired…had my sleepy time pills…so sorry such a shitty post.

I love you guys!!

Songwriters: Gaugh, F; Wilson, E; Nowell, Bradley James

Waiting for my Ruca

"punk rock changed our lives."
(dog barking)
good boy, good boy, good boy
on the east side
that's where i met
my ramona
i wanna go to a party
that's what she said
lonely
that's what i've been
here's my telephone number call me
and to a party a house party
whole loop-a people just rally 'round me
and love
she send a message of love
she said
i love up the way you move
i love the way you rap
bo bo!
ramona please step back
now she's my ruca
i'm barely waiting for my heina
she moved from long beach down to l.a.
right now she's selling oranges by the freeway
i wanna know
ramona am i the only one, tell me
and she said
you're not the only one but you're the best bradley
bo bo!
and now i'm waiting for my ruca
and i barely pulled up with my heina
i know tonight i'll be behind her
don't fuck around with my heina

Me: Did I Tell You Rob Thomas Tweeted

the word Fuck to me?

Her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend in 7th grade?

Me: …..

(Ohhhhh, I could only wish. I could only wish…)

unWordless Wednesday

When my husband saw this whatchamacallit of Fire Sauce at Taco Bell, he knew it was made for me.

Motherfucking Em

I would to start of by saying Em scared me. I always get nervous when I see a new person commenting on my blog.

I realize my blog isn’t for everyone, but I still don’t like people who say mean shit.

It just ain’t right.

My cheekbone still hurts from when I hit that fucker with my car door.

Sorry folks, no bruising.

I am just as disappointed as all you jackass shit fucks out there who were hoping for a bruise.

I really wanted to get a picture of that shit and post it for you.

Ask my husband. I must have looked in the mirror 692 times, at least. And I asked him if there was a bruise like a million times.

He just kept rolling his eyes, telling me that I couldn’t will a bruise to come out of my face.

He was right.

I’m really just kidding when I call you all a bunch of jackass shit fucks.

I really love you. Really. I’m just trying to get those fucks in wherever I can.

That seemed like good a place as any.

I'm tired, and that last sentence may not make sense to everyone.

But fuck it. That’s really how I talk.

Another funny for all my beautiful stalkers.

A day or two after I hit my cheekbone on the motherfucking car door, I was leaning in to buckle my daughtry up.

And smacked the shit out of my forehead. Leaned right in to that one like a total asshole.

Once again, I hate to disappoint ya’ll, but no bruises.

Just #PAIN!!

Oh the #PAIN!!

Wanking Bollocks.

Whatever the fuck that means.

Music Monday ~Don’t Stop Believing~ Journey

I’d like to dedicate this song to Robin, or footy and his mum Jane, or waxy, as I like to call her.

This song is by special request by footy for both him and his mum.

Jane, I sure hope you’re feeling better. We sure miss you when you’re not online. Take care and get well. We’ll be patiently waiting for you.

I would also like to apologize to some for not using the f word. I promised I wouldn’t use it on just the ONE post.

It’s hard to write and not say THAT word, which is my most favorite of words.

I think I’m going to break into a sweat.

Guess I’ll have to write tomorrow so I can get all those pent up f words out.

F*(K!!!

I Don’t Have A Picture

for unWorldless Wednesday today.

I only have some words of wisdom.

If you drop something before you get in your care, please, PLEASE do not try to pick up said object while you are opening your car door.

You will hit your face really fucking hard on the corner of your car door.

And it will fucking hurt.

Fuck.