I Am Devastated That Boca Java

is going out of business.

I mean, where the fuck am I going to get good coffee now??

Pink ~ Fucking Perfect~

"Fuckin' Perfect"

Made a wrong turn once or twice

Dug my way out, blood and fire

Bad decisions, that's alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood

Miss knowing it's all good

It didn't slow me down.

Mistaken, always second guessing

Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk

About yourself. You were wrong.

Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead.

So complicated, look how we are making

Filled with so much hatred

Such a tired game

It's enough, I've done all I could think of

Chased down all my demons

I've seen you do the same

(ohh ohhhhhhh)

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in line and we try try try but we try too hard

It's a waste of my time.

Done looking for the critics, cos they're everywhere

They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair

Strange ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing than you're fucking perfect to me

(you're perfect, you're perfect)

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me.

I Can't Wait Till I Have

to go next time, so I can see if this really happens:

Any advice?

See more When Parents Text here.

Her Dog's Butt

touched my hand.

I feel so dirty.

And, no, that is not code for something you might be thinking you'd like to try.

Yes, I did wash my hands.

With antibacterial soap.

About 800 times.

Help Me Bribe My Children

so I can show you why you really should not run in the house.

Your parents were right.

Fuck.

(P.S. I just might send somebody something for helping me.)

It Has Been FOREVER

since I've posted.

And I miss you guys.

A. Lot.

I don't know. I just sort of ran out of shit to say.

Or shit I thought you might actually want to hear.

I'll work on it.

Right after I clean up 4 fucking boxes of cake mix and 2 fucking pouches of cookie mix and about an inch of water off of every motherfucking surface in my kitchen.

I swear there is something majorly wrong with my kids

And is that how you spell 'majorly'? It's saying it's spelled wrong but won't give me any damn suggestions.

Oh well, you get the drift.

Fuck You by Ceelo

Okay, I realize it isn’t Music Monday, and that technically it should be unWordless Wednesday, but this is some funny shit.

It’s got a catchy tune, but don’t watch it if you don’t like the Eff Word.