I Ate

seven (7) hotdogs yesterday. With bun, slice of cheese, and ketchup.

Not all at one time, mind you. But still. 7 frickin' hotdogs.

How Do I Get Back To "Good?"

So, what does one do if they are addicted to food? I've heard a lot about people being addicted to food, but not much on what to do to combat it. I certainly cannot go cold turkey. That might not be pretty. I certainly don't want to become a bulemic. That wouldn't solve the problem anyway. It would just make it worse.

What do I do?

My cousin talks about having power over her addiction. She says that while she "realize[s] that while I have no power over the thought of drinking, I do have power over what I do about it."

And I get that. I totally do.

I think about food almost every waking moment of the day. I think about eating it. I think about making it. I think about fast food. I think about yummy, delicious carbs. I think about what I can do to make my favorite food even tastier and more delicious. This will usually lead to me binging.

Yes, almost every day I binge. At least once. I can throw down a few thousand calories without even blinking an eye or batting an eyelash.

Not eating the "good stuff" is one of the hardest things I've done in my life. It is harder to eat just the "good stuff" than it was to quit smoking.

So what do I do to quit eating it? What do I do to be satisfied with just a salad and a nice piece of grilled chicken? How do I make myself satisfied to eat the healthy stuff and not throw in a ton of carbs or some desserts with dessert on top?

I don't know how to do that.

Addicted to Food?

I think  yes. 

I have been on a diet for 2 weeks now. It is called Body Rejuvination and I am watched closely by a doctor.  This diet is extremely restrictive.

I have not been able to go 1 day without cheating on this diet. Either big or small I have cheated every single day. Every single day. 14 days and I have put something in my mouth that is not allowed.

Why?

The only thing I can come up with is food addiction. 

What do I do to overcome this? I don't know. I keep trying, but I am not successful. 

I have been keeping up with a cousins blog called Defective and Reflective. It is about her struggles with alcoholism and what she's doing to fight it. 

I honestly cry every single time I read her blog, whether she's updated it or not. I can feel her pain as though it was my own. The struggles she goes through are honestly the same things I go through with food. Her blog also parallels many other aspects of my life, which I have not yet delved into in this blog. That may come soon.

P.S. If you like her blog, you can also hit her frickin' hilarious blog Whacked in the Head. Try it.