I just got done meeting with one of my therapists, for lack of a better word. I'm not exactly sure what I should call her, besides heaven sent. We spent a good part of the hour discussing my 10 year old's behavior. It is not pretty.
What I'm doing currently is not working. Obviously. So she suggested bartering for good behavior.
It would go something like this: He gets grounded for hitting his brother, but is then able to do chores (or whatever else we can think of) to get ungrounded earlier.
At first I was resistant to the idea. Very resistant. To me, that sounds like I'm making it okay to do the crime, because he can always be pardoned earlier. Towards the very end of the hour, I'm thinking, welllll it can't hurt to try it, really, can it?
On the way home it kind of hit me though. I mean, what the fuck? I have to actually barter with my 10 year old for good behavior? (Angela, if you are reading this, please don't be upset. I am not aiming any anger towards you. I appreciate all you do for us!). I mean, how bad have things really become, that I have to bribe...uhh....I mean barter with my son for him to not hit his brother, or to not throw a fit, or to do his homework, or to clean his room?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Bartering For Good Behavior?
Monday, October 27, 2008
Why I Am A "Mean Person" ~A Daily Rant~
It was a beautiful day here, so we decided to take the kids to the City Park. Lots of people were out and about. Lots of Adults, kids, families, just tons of people. Along with that came many, many dogs. Not a problem. Mostly.
The kids were playing on the playground, which is fairly big. Still, it was covered with lots of kids. There were a couple of families that brought their dogs over, but all of them were on leases and kept right next to adults.
One woman had a small child who looked like she had just learned to walk. I don't think the baby could have been older than a year, but probably around 10 months or so. This woman also decided to bring her dog. She soon realized that she couldn't play with her child while she was holding the dogs leash.
So she tied the dog up to one side of the playground. And then left the dog to go play with her baby. Really?
My daughter is 4. We have 3 dogs at home, so she loves dogs. She came over to try to pet the dog. My husband and I were standing right near the dog, on the edge of the playground. As she was going for the dog, I told her she could pet the dog without permission (a rule, that we don't touch other people's dogs without permission).
The lady then says, "yes, don't touch my dog. She won't bite, but she might bite if I'm not holding her leash." What?
My daughter made 3 or 4 attempts, one after the other to get to this dog. On the final one she got a little big closer, but still not within reach of the dog. This woman GRABBED my daugher's arm and told her not to go by her dog.
Okay. Now I'm pissed. I say to this woman, "Do not touch my daughter. You shouldn't leave your dog tied up away from you, especially if you think it might bite someone if you're not next to it."
The woman continues to try to argue with me, but I just keep repeating that she shouldn't tie the dog up and walk away from it, much less bring it to a park full of kids, if she thinks it might bite someone. What the hell was she thinking? Sounds like she was asking for a lawsuit if you ask me.
She stayed next to her dog after that. She was flirting with some man who had a couple little girls of his own. Her daughter wandered away from her, and came right in front of us. When she realized her daughter was next to us, she ran over, scooped her daughter up and said, " oh, don't play here, these people are mean." Ummm. Okay lady.
Please note in the picture how she is sitting right next to her dog after I tell her she shouldn't have left it alone - even though she insisted that "it wouldn't bite. But it might bite if I'm not next to her." After she was done over there, she went to the swings, and thankfully took her dog.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Over & Over & Over
Why do children feel the need to repeat things over and over and over? Examples include: Opening & shutting doors, jumping on the dog(s), taking diapers off (but refusing to use the potty), trying to twirl my desk chair, trying to swim in the dog water, emptying all of the dog food onto the floor, etc. Do your children repeat certain things that are annoying?
Don't get me wrong. I love my kids, they're great. But, why can't they just play with their toys?