Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Me: What Options Do You Have For Vegetarians?

Them: …….well…..we have chicken….

Me: Chicken is a meat.

Them: Oh. I didn’t know what kind of a vegetarian you were.

Me: Really? I’m the kind who doesn’t eat meat.

I shit you not, people. This has happened to me MORE than once since I quite eating land mammals at the beginning of August.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I Just Spent Forty Minutes Trying To Poop

9give or take – Surprisingly, I didn’t time it or anything).

And I was highly unsuccessful.

Sometimes life is so unfair.

Once a dear friend gave this advice: “It should never take longer than 5 minutes to drop your load. If you take more than 5 minutes, it’s entirely too long. You need to wait until you KNOW you can complete your task in that amount of time.”

Is that even POSSIBLE??

On a lighter note, I’m going to have a Scentsy party. So if your house stinks (presumably you shit, even though obviously I don’t) hit me up and I can give you the link to place an order.

No pretty pictures today. I had to get a new computer and haven’t transferred any of my pictures over or taken any new ones for a while.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Don’t Let The Crazy Girl Have A Pair Of Scissors

Especially if she’s in the process of changing her meds.

She might just go bat shit crazy and cut all her hair off.

Yep. All of it.

Well almost. It was down to the middle of my back. It is now well above my shoulders.

Fuck me.

I know the picture sucks, but that’s what you get with a phone camera.

It looks like I have lipstick all over my face. I don’t. And look at those eyebrows. That’s some scary shit and I’m sorry you had to see it. I mean, fuck, she should just go get them waxed. And yes, I’m sitting on my bed. I’m lazy. And tired. And I didn’t sleep last night, so if it looks to you like I’m trying to cover up crack-whore eyes, you’d be right.

photo (1)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I just won 50 points on the SuperLucky Button!

Here is an invite code worth an extra 50 points! If you've wanted to join, now is the time!

I cashed out for $25 in Paypal cash during the month of October....all for FREE.

Christmas is coming!!

I just won 50 points on the SuperLucky Button!: Superpoints is a members-only club where you earn great rewards for doing things online like taking surveys, watching videos or shopping.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My Dog Is So Smart


She can open my bathroom cabinets – that don’t have handles – and pull shit out from under there. Like Q-tips, make-up, my flat iron.

She can take books directly off the shelf.

She can take my nail file, comb, and pills off of my bedside table.

She can go under my bedspread, which is under my pillows and get the charger for my computer out.

What’s even better is she loves to chew it all up.

If she were REALLY smart, she wouldn’t do that.

Damn dog is lucky she’s still alive after chewing various power cords that were still plugged in.

Anyway, I had to replace that laptop charger. You’d think for $90 fucking dollars that bitch would actually work. The charger, not the dog.

Nope. The first one quit working. The second one never worked. Third one, a charm?

Uh huh.

Anyway. I took the kids for a drive today. We just wanted to get out of the house and look for a place to walk or play for a while. We found a cute little park. It was a nice, long drive.

Fuck, I’m tired.


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