Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
miss my glasses. I have worn glasses since kindergarten. 26 motherfucking years. A LONG time. I HATED wearing glasses. You would not believe the kind of disdain I had for those things. I even went without them for a couple of years when I was younger.
Friday, October 16, 2009
my 7 year old puked up the entire contents of his stomach.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
motherfucking ass. Every time.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
out of my 5 year old's daycare.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
or does it take a special kind of idiot to work as a receptionist at the Community Health Center?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
when I was a little girl and my mom would always let me open the new can of cofee.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I read this today.
- Bi-polar disorder
- General anxiety disorder
- Attention deficit disorder
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder
- Post traumatic stress disorder
Thursday, August 20, 2009
about my last Music Monday Post.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Her: Mom, you drive me crazy.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
and anyone who works that part of the insurace business total fucking assholes?
Monday, August 10, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Me: Did you wash your face?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
sleep for a week? Just one. Is that too much to ask?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Her: Your face is all red and sunburnt.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Him: I found a XBox 360 at work today.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
No, not really. I'm just not feelin' the love right now.
That's it. I have nothing else to give right now.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Me: Let's do it.
into summer vacation and I already want to run far, far away. Far. Far. Away. Far.
Monday, June 1, 2009
comes to $5.37 (five dollars and thirty-seven cents) and I hand you a twenty (20) dollar bill and thirty-seven (37) cents, you owe me more than two (2) five (5) dollar bills. No matter how hard you argue with me. Motherfucker.
seven (7) hotdogs yesterday. With bun, slice of cheese, and ketchup.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Please don't think I won't report your ass if you call me before 8 a.m. I so will.
Monday, May 25, 2009
like cancer, making everything I touch bad and ugly.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The mixing of the gallons of milk.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Let your dog shit on my grass.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Allow me to use your site to promote my blog for 4 fucking days...all the while advertising your shit on MY blog.....
Monday, May 18, 2009
Good for them. I hope they do wonderful, excel, and in the end just have a whole shitload of fun.
Okay. You gotta love this song. First, it was on the ending of Cruel Intentions. I swear that was one of the best endings to a movie in the history of movies. I don't know what's second or third. I just love this song.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My 4 year old had a field trip to the zoo with her pre-school class today. I was only embarrassed to be a mom once or twice.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
"hubby" bother anyone else? It makes my skin crawl. Not sure why.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Call me 15 (motherfucking) times a day. If I wanted to talk to you, I would have answered the 1st time.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
to being a productive member of society. I just made an appointment with an Admissions Counselor for tomorrow. And it's for the University here. University! To be a Regisered Nurse.
Monday, May 4, 2009
I woke up sick today. It's either 1 of 2 things:
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Me: I have 14 followers now.
I promised myself that I wouldn't buy any more brownie mix (even if it was on sale).
Friday, May 1, 2009
Me: My new blog post is about things I love. I put up a picture of ear plugs.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I just got done meeting with one of my therapists, for lack of a better word. I'm not exactly sure what I should call her, besides heaven sent. We spent a good part of the hour discussing my 10 year old's behavior. It is not pretty.
What I'm doing currently is not working. Obviously. So she suggested bartering for good behavior.
It would go something like this: He gets grounded for hitting his brother, but is then able to do chores (or whatever else we can think of) to get ungrounded earlier.
At first I was resistant to the idea. Very resistant. To me, that sounds like I'm making it okay to do the crime, because he can always be pardoned earlier. Towards the very end of the hour, I'm thinking, welllll it can't hurt to try it, really, can it?
On the way home it kind of hit me though. I mean, what the fuck? I have to actually barter with my 10 year old for good behavior? (Angela, if you are reading this, please don't be upset. I am not aiming any anger towards you. I appreciate all you do for us!). I mean, how bad have things really become, that I have to bribe...uhh....I mean barter with my son for him to not hit his brother, or to not throw a fit, or to do his homework, or to clean his room?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
to have as much fun as humanly possible while cleaning out the garage. Really. I will.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
So, my last post just happened to be post number 100. And, of course, I brought it in unceremoniously talking about donuts. Really?
Saturday, April 25, 2009
go for a walk tonight due to wind and rain, so instead I ate some donuts.
Friday, April 24, 2009
with my 4 year old daughter.
Her: Mom, what's this?
Me: It's a tattoo.
Her: Is it paint?
Me: Nope, it's ink.
Me: Yes, and it will never come off.
Her: Wow! Didn't see that one coming!
Cool Ranch Doritos, but only because it's after midnight and I have to fast for labs. Suck ass.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
right away and I still stopped for your unyielding ass. How am I the bitch, bitch?
why I thought it would be a good idea to buy Cool Ranch Doritos and make brownies on the same day.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
loved, because when you were staring at me with those big, brown puppy dog eyes, I told you to go lay down. Instead you knew that I really needed to be kept warm and jumped on top of me and laid your massive 85 furry pounds directly on top of me and wouldn't budge. Good girl, Goldie.
Monday, April 20, 2009
for eating that entire Chipotle Burrito without taking a breath or even wiping the drips that made it down to my elbows. And the side of tortilla chips.
This song pretty much sums up my life right now. I'm on the verge of some life altering changes. I can't wait!! (But I'm a little scared too).
Sunday, April 19, 2009
about the faintly kind of poopy smell I'm smelling. I honestly do not want to find out what it is.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I had to ask you if you loved me. And although you didn't say no, you didn't say "yes."
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
for shouting, "son of a whore!" while in the office at the school my kids go to.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Does it make my 10 year old feel good to be carried into school by his dad and the liason officer? Again.
Australians singing about touching themselves. It doesn't get any better than that.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
If your 10 year old drops a bottle of fingernail polish in the fridge and it breaks (and you don't clean it all the way up), your ice will then totally taste like fingernail polish. But that's way better than garlic ice.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Take out my working car window switches, clean them, then put them back non-functioning.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Not only put onions on the burger I so nicely asked you not too, but cut the fuckers so small I can't actually pick them off.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Has drinking Diet Coke for the last 10 years made me stupider? I'm not sure if I even spelt that right.
I would like to pass this award on to:
>What's even cooler about this award is you can choose between 3 different styles. Check them out here.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Do we really need a movie about guinea pig espionage?
I don't think we do.
Shut my mailbox. I leave it open for a reason jacktard.
He says he thought he told me. He didn't.