Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I read this today.

You know when you're least expecting it and something jumps up and slaps you in the face. With a brick. Hard?

That's what happened here.

That 1st paragraph spoke to me so loudly that I cannot help but hear it. There's no way to ignore it.

Here I am. And I need to do something about it.

About a year ago my depression was getting so bad I was making everyone in my family completely and totally miserable. I was sad, angry, bitter, so tired, and weepy all of the time. It never let up.

While I was being being evaluated they also diagnosed me with some other stuff.

  • Bi-polar disorder
  • General anxiety disorder
  • Attention deficit disorder
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • Post traumatic stress disorder
Yeah. Heavy stuff. I may even be forgetting one or two, but these are the major ones so I'm sure you get the idea.

Then it seemed like I was even worse off. All these disorders weighed so heavy on me. I was so much more miserable. I don't have insurance so my treatment options are very limited. What I'm taking doesn't seem to help much. Nor does the one on one therapy I'm partaking in.

I haven't worked outside of the home in about 3 years. Really I haven't done much of anything outside of the home. Or inside either, if truth be told.

My family has had to pick up a lot of slack because I haven't been able to.

The point of this? I think I got off at the wrong exit on this Highway of Life.

This is not me. I am not a victim. It is only my fault that I am 28 (for the 4th year in a row) and have done almost nothing with my life.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to get back on that highway and make sure I find the right exit.


C@mshaft said...

I can relate. How come they diagnosed you with PTSD if you don't mind me asking? Were you in the Military at one point or other traumatic situations. I'm pretty sure I'd be diagnosed with that one! No military, but once with an abusive ex husband...'nuff said.

Hope things start to look up for you! Take care,

Related Posts with Thumbnails
blog template by