A Little While Ago

my 7 year old puked up the entire contents of his stomach.

Then he yelled, CALL THE DOCTOR! at the top of his lungs.

It was so comical. Really. Or maybe you had to be there.

And me, being the best mom I could be, was really only thinking: HOW DO I BLOG THIS?!!

One Of The Reasons

I am totally in love with Graham Norton.

Karma Bites Me In The

motherfucking ass. Every time.

I wrote something about having the pig flu here. It was supposed to be a joke.

But if you don't get it, oh well.

Guess I shouldn't have tempted fate, because my poor 5 year old daughter is sicker than a dog. The only way I can keep her fever below 105 is to piggy back Motrin and Tylenol.

Oh yes, and there was the great suggestion by an unnamed nurse to dunk her in a bath of COLD water. (parents, please do not dunk your children in cold water when they have fevers. Use, lukewarm water. If the water is cold, they will shiver, which will actually RAISE their body temperature).

I would bring her in to the ER, but they are not testing or treating children for the Swine flu if they are otherwise healthy.

I thank my lucky stars she is.

She is feeling totally miserable, so thoughts and prayers would be appreciated.

As We Are Walking

out of my 5 year old's daycare.

Me: Do you need to go potty?

Her: No, that's my shoes squeaking.

Is It Just Me

or does it take a special kind of idiot to work as a receptionist at the Community Health Center?

Remembering

when I was a little girl and my mom would always let me open the new can of cofee.

She knew how much I love the sound and smell of that first whirl of coffee goodness.

I always felt so special standing with her while she watched over me.

I read this today.

You know when you're least expecting it and something jumps up and slaps you in the face. With a brick. Hard?

That's what happened here.

That 1st paragraph spoke to me so loudly that I cannot help but hear it. There's no way to ignore it.

Here I am. And I need to do something about it.

About a year ago my depression was getting so bad I was making everyone in my family completely and totally miserable. I was sad, angry, bitter, so tired, and weepy all of the time. It never let up.

While I was being being evaluated they also diagnosed me with some other stuff.

Like:

• Bi-polar disorder
• General anxiety disorder
• Attention deficit disorder
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder
• Post traumatic stress disorder

Yeah. Heavy stuff. I may even be forgetting one or two, but these are the major ones so I'm sure you get the idea.

Then it seemed like I was even worse off. All these disorders weighed so heavy on me. I was so much more miserable. I don't have insurance so my treatment options are very limited. What I'm taking doesn't seem to help much. Nor does the one on one therapy I'm partaking in.

I haven't worked outside of the home in about 3 years. Really I haven't done much of anything outside of the home. Or inside either, if truth be told.

My family has had to pick up a lot of slack because I haven't been able to.

The point of this? I think I got off at the wrong exit on this Highway of Life.

This is not me. I am not a victim. It is only my fault that I am 28 (for the 4th year in a row) and have done almost nothing with my life.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to get back on that highway and make sure I find the right exit.