Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Do Not Lick Your Fingers At DisneyLand,

no matter how fucking good that cotton candy was.

Or regardless of whether or not you're stuck on a scenic train ride with nothing to wipe that sticky, gooey mess on.

I promise you, no good can possibly come from it.

Alright. I was going to stop there. But serisously. My kids licked their fingers too. How come they didn't catch the same cooties I did? Really?

Kids are nasty and dirty.

They stick their fingers up their noses (I would never do that...)

They don't wash their hands. Ever.

I'm a germaphobe. My daughter relishes in this fact.

She loves to swing those stupid swingy lids on garbage cans when we're in public.

She never hesitates to touch a toilet seat. Anywhere. Or open those icky little bins women throw their trash in in a public restroom.

Yet, I'm the one who caught cooties from licking my fingers!!

Fuck the Magic of Disneyland.

All you get is cooties.


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