Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I read this today.

You know when you're least expecting it and something jumps up and slaps you in the face. With a brick. Hard?

That's what happened here.

That 1st paragraph spoke to me so loudly that I cannot help but hear it. There's no way to ignore it.

Here I am. And I need to do something about it.

About a year ago my depression was getting so bad I was making everyone in my family completely and totally miserable. I was sad, angry, bitter, so tired, and weepy all of the time. It never let up.

While I was being being evaluated they also diagnosed me with some other stuff.

  • Bi-polar disorder
  • General anxiety disorder
  • Attention deficit disorder
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • Post traumatic stress disorder
Yeah. Heavy stuff. I may even be forgetting one or two, but these are the major ones so I'm sure you get the idea.

Then it seemed like I was even worse off. All these disorders weighed so heavy on me. I was so much more miserable. I don't have insurance so my treatment options are very limited. What I'm taking doesn't seem to help much. Nor does the one on one therapy I'm partaking in.

I haven't worked outside of the home in about 3 years. Really I haven't done much of anything outside of the home. Or inside either, if truth be told.

My family has had to pick up a lot of slack because I haven't been able to.

The point of this? I think I got off at the wrong exit on this Highway of Life.

This is not me. I am not a victim. It is only my fault that I am 28 (for the 4th year in a row) and have done almost nothing with my life.

What am I going to do?

I'm going to get back on that highway and make sure I find the right exit.

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