Why There Should Always Be

at least 2 alarms set when I need to wake up early. Well, early for me, anyway.


Because, if there aren't at least 2 set, I will not wake up on time and something like this will probably happen:


I am startled awake, instantly knowing I am late. LATE!! Shit. SHIT!!


What time is it? 9:30. Okay. Shit. I have 30 minutes to take a shower and get to school. SHIT. Okay, I can do this. Nope. I can't do this. SHIT! FUCK!!!


Then I hear the little voice of my 3 children who are 11, 7, and 5.


Wait. Is it even Monday? They go to school on Monday... Wait. Is it just Sunday then? It has to be Sunday, because they would be at school if it was Monday. Did their dad just not take them to school? No, he would never do that. Oh shit, I am so confused. CONFUSED! This just isn't right.


I recheck the time. And go back and forth about what day it really is.


Yes. It is Monday morning and it is 9:30. For sure. Or mostly for sure. Fuck.


So, I go out to the living room.


Me: WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING HOME!!!???!!!??? 


All 3 of them just stare at me blankly.


The oldest, who is 11 finally manages to squeak out an unconvincing I don't know.


Me: WELL? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME???!!??!!


More blank stares.


Me: ARE YOU GUYS SICK OR WHAT?


More blank stares.


Me: CAN SOMEONE JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME? ARE YOU SICK. FUCK!!! WHERE'S YOUR DAD??


Yet again, more blank stares.


Then I remember. It is a national holiday. The kids do not have school today, it is 9:30 in the morning, and my husband is already at work. And yes, I was yelling at the top of my lungs like some crazy, psychoti, totally fucked up mental patient this whole time. Quite comical, I'm sure.


So, yes, this is why there should always be 2 alarms set so I will not wake up in a panic and yell at my kids for sitting in front of the T.V. watching cartoons, as quiet as can be, just so I can sleep in.


Sometimes I can be such a fucking idiot.


Really.