Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Son Told Me That When

he is older and has kids he will never treat them like I treat him.

To which I replied:

If you didn’t:

start the carpet on fire, cut your sister’s hair, draw on my walls, carve into my coffee table, cut open my brand new loveseat, jump off the back of my couch so many times it breaks, pee on my floors, draw hopscotch on my carpet with a black sharpie, shit down my floor heat vent and then try to blame it on the dog, or spray paint my T.V

then I wouldn’t treat you like I do either.

michaelcarpet

And yes, this is my picture. I’ve heard it was being forwarded in one of those e-mail about how “bad” boys are. But. Yep. It’s MY bad boy.

9 comments:

~ Becky said...

Oh. My. God. I think I just had a glimpse into my future. Time to go hide. Or drink heavily...

Pam said...

Slap a fro on him and he would be Remi. She has done all the things you've mentioned with the exception of slicing open the sofa. How the hell did you get the sharpie out of the carpet. It appears he is scrubbing it with something in the picture.
There's a website called shit my kid ruined or something like that. You should put this picture on there. Lol!

Don E. Chute said...

Good Lord!

My prayers, are with you.

Peace, Love, and Understanding--EC

Ann said...

And I thought my kids did some crazy shit. I can't believe he did all that and you didn't say fuck once in this whole post :) So does sharpie come out of carpet?

Lin said...

Tell him that he's lucky he doesn't live with me because he wouldn't be seeing the light of day after that!

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Wow! Somebody's going to be cleaning for a long time! Was that supposed to be hopscotch?

Jerry said...

Wow, that sounds like a speech my mom had to my brother when he was a child!

Stinkypaw said...

Man, looking at this I don't regret that decision not to have a kid! Yikes!

Meg said...

Ho-ly shit. Did you laugh? Did you cry? I would've done both and then finished up the day drinking from a jug of wine and rocking myself in the corner.

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