Melissa, As Defined By Urbandictionary.com

2. melissa

Hottest girl in the known universe
likes taking it from behind
wow, you look like melissa

3. Melissa

Someone who is really blunt, but will tell you the truth, no matter what the circumstances. Someone who likes to go shopping, eat a lot, sleep and is kind of promiscuous but doesn’t care if anyone calls her a whore.  Melissa’s are cool, nice, fun, honest, kinda whoreish and a non conformist.
Guy #1: Dude! Did you make out with that girl at the party last night?
Guy#2: Hell yeah. She was pretty easy.
Guy #1: What’s her name?
Guy #2: Melissa.
Guy #1: Figures.
Guy #2: She’s cool though.

16. Melissa

When getting a hand job, the girl give a death-grip.
Girl: “Do you like this?”
Boy: “No! You’re giving me a Melissa!”

26. Melissa

A large black man’s erect cock. A box is optional.
It’s my Melissa in a box!

28. Melissa

a girl i wish i could puke on right now
melissa is a cunt!

30. melissa

A girl’s name in which the height of its popularity was in the 1980’s. The majority of females named Melissa were born with permanent sticks up their asses, and are therefore extremely uptight the majority of the time. Thereby anyone with an attitude, or literally a stick up their butt, can be described as being a Melissa. There rest of us are o.k.
Look at that Melissa with that stick up her ass! Why are you a bitch like Melissa?

30. Melissa

a worthless queer that walks around jacking off to ducks mating. this thing also creeps around and fucks girls with a strap on dildo
betty: hey did you see that queer?
josh: yeah that melissa?

I found these in the UrbanDictionary.com. All of the entries do not really describe me, but I thought they were funny as hell.
I tried to keep everything exactly as it was printed on the UrbanDictionary site, so that’s why some things are obviously not grammatically correct or spelled wrong. Not that we really care about that here.
The picture is of me. From a long time ago. When I used to be kind of hot, and just a little bit whoreish.