Friday, February 26, 2010

Okay People, I Have

no frickin’ clue how I got the damn salad dressing on my forehead.

Furthermore, I have no idea why the therapist didn’t tell me that shit was on my forehead. Maybe it was because I was a quivering mass of snivels and tears that day.

I’ll never know.

What’s worse is later on that night I went to McDonald’s with barbecue sauce on my cheek.

Yes. Barbecue. Sauce. On. My. Cheek.

Like, hey, this fat bitch is ordering five McDoubles, but I know she just ate an ass load rack of ribs.

But only because my husband told me there was nothing on my face.

I am so motherfucking cool.

Yes. I still say cool.

For the record, I did not eat an ass load of ribs. I ate three. Minus the one that was stuck on my cheek. And I only ate one motherfucking  McDouble.

11 comments:

EmcogNEATO! said...

Maybe your therapist was just trying to make you a stronger person? If you can go through life with dressing and sauce on your face, you can take anything!

Ann said...

Ya know, usually when I eat everything goes right to my hips....lol

Ally said...

I must tell you that husbands do not SEE things that are on our faces. If I could list the amount of times I kicked my hubby's ass for letting me walk around with spinach teeth and tomato sauce face :(

Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Conspiracy Theory :o)

Kelly said...

at least you don't say coolbeans!

Jen said...

I say the word cool too, ain't nothin' wrong with using cool words.

Ribs sound really good right now.

livintheblues said...

if there is no food of any kind on my person it means I have eaten lately..:)

Mandy said...

LOL. Love your blog!

I once sat through a job interview with mustard on my cheek. Classy.

:)

Lin said...

Is having salad dressing on your face similar to the ashes on Catholics on Ash Wednesday?

Melissa Mashburn said...

LOL I love your posts. I say cool beans!

Pam said...

Please tell me it was any kind of salad dressing besides ranch or blue cheese. There's something about Mary's hair gel was the first thing that comes to mind.

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