Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dear Dog Lovers:

Just because you love your dog and it’s tiny and you think  your dog is cute really doesn’t give you the right to bring your dog into a place of business where it is against the rules and/or law.

It doesn’t even matter if that little fucker is just so well-behaved.

Here’s the thing.

My dog is cute. Really cute. I don’t just think she’s cute. She is. Only, she’s not tiny. And although she’s very well-behaved (except when she insists on sleeping on the couch when she thinks no one is looking) she will eat your dog for lunch.

And I will let her.

Just because you think you’re special and do not have to follow the rules.

Assholes.

Please notice the look in Goldie’s eyes. I’m dangling an ugly, little mutt in front of her. (Not really. It’s just a Frisbee. Unfortunately no ugly little mutts were harmed while making this blog). Doesn’t she look hungry?

goldie

Sorry the picture is so crappy. It’s from my old, old camera and I had to download it from facebook. Because I don’t have any pictures on my laptop. Because I suck.

And I sort of (but not really) want to apologize for all the shit (haha) that was going on on my blog yesterday.

That’s what you get for giving me such shit (haha) about my Wordless Wednesdays being…well…unWordless.

And it was really, really hard to be wordless yesterday. Shit is always a great thing to talk about. It’s funny.

Now you know how truly fucked up my mind really is. :o)

And I know I spelt spelled wrong the other day. Thank you to Kelly for pointing that out for me. Please notice the sarcasm dripping off my words. And don’t worry, I didn’t scream too loud.

11 comments:

Melissa Mashburn said...

HA!

My dog is cute! She is tiny and she is so well behaved, except when she shits in the house. However, I now have her trained to shit in the floor on my husband's side of the bed, it helps wake him up in the mornings.

Lori said...

You are a lunatic.

I love your style.

Lin said...

Uh, note to most dog lovers:

I do not love your dog, so please remove him from the store, the sledding hill, the school yard, and my space. I don't think he is as cute as you do and I'm sick of the phrase "he just wants to say 'hi'". yeah/no.

Why do people insist on bringing their dogs everywhere they go? I'd bring my cat to say hello, but he can't be bothered.

Cashier said...

The worst is when I see a dog locked in a car...at the park! Could there be any worse torture for them?

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Only thing worse than obnoxious dog people is obnoxious dog people with little dogs.

EmcogNEATO! said...

I would also like to add that dogs (I don't care what size they are) do not ever belong in purses.

sheilasultani said...

And a little bit off topic but dog related - if your dog is pooping and you pretend not to know it, the shit still is real and you still have to pick it up!

Ann said...

Now as much as I love Duke, and as much as he thinks he is human and should go everywhere I go, I've never even though about taking him shopping with me. Some people really are overboard with their pets. Before Duke came along I used to look at a dog his size and say "That's not a dog, it's a large rodent"...lol I was always had labs before Duke.

Stacie's Madness said...

I want a little dog that 1) doesn't shit like the shit you're blog showed yesterday and 2) that will fit in my purse so I can be all annoying and taking it places it doesn't belong.

yeah, i said it.

Kelly said...

WTF? I left a very witty comment yesterday and it never showed up. Now I don't remember how it went so it's not funny anymore. Anyway, thanks for the linky love!

And btw, what's up with the fucked up captcha words on your blog lately? My word today is "spolax". What the fuck is a spolax?

PS. I returned the linky love today. :)

Pam said...

I was just in a store the other day when some bitch came in pushing a dog in a stroller. I hate people.

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